The most sinister thing about finals week is the way it tempts you into thinking you have more free time. There’s a voice in the back of your head that says, “Yeah! No classes!” That voice is very hard to shut up when your head is buried in your textbook or in front of your laptop re-reading your final paper for the 100th time.

If you find yourself fighting with your brain about how to spend your study time, consult this list. While definitely not comprehensive, you can be sure that if your brain is telling you to do something on this list, you should definitely not do it.

  1. Thoroughly clean your dorm or apartment.
  2. Fix all the lingering feng shui problems with your dorm or apartment.dorm-room-feng-shui
  3. Fixing the feng shui problems with the campus library (until they throw you out).
  4. Fix that desk drawer that keeps sticking.
  5. Shop around Craigslist for a better desk.
  6. Learn how to build a desk.
  7. Build a desk.
  8. Accept that practice makes perfect, throw away your first attempt at building a desk, and build a second, better one.
  9. Laundry, beyond the essentials. Your dirty hoodie can stay dirty a bit longer.
  10. Manually hitting refresh on your inbox. If you find yourself doing it manually, it’s because you’re putting off something you should be doing instead.
  11. Multitask studying. It’s bad for your memory.
  12. Think about what the state of the economy means for your job search.
  13. Work on your Christmas/Chanukah list.in_n_out_logo1
  14. Work on next year’s Christmas/Chanukah list.
  15. Decide that, due to limited funds, you’ll be making Christmas/Chanukah presents for everyone by hand.
  16. Decide that, due to making Christmas/Chanukah presents for everyone by hand, you’ll need to learn how to knit.
  17. Decide that, due to learning how to knit, you’ll need to start building up calluses now.
  18. If you’re on the east coast, getting lunch at the nearest In & Out Burger.
  19. If you’re on the west coast, getting lunch at the nearest White Castle.
  20. Finally get around to watching The Wire.the-wire-poster-2010
  21. Finally learn how to play something more complicated than “Smoke on the Water” or “Wonderwall” on the guitar.
  22. Learning all the lyrics to “Wasting Time” by Jack Johnson. Not realizing the irony of this.
  23. Test out this World of Warcraft thing you’ve heard so much about.
  24. Decide you really need to have an opinion on which of the 24 seasons of The Simpsons is your favorite.
  25. Decide you really need to have an opinion on which of the 26 seasons of Dr. Who is your favorite.
  26. Decide you really need to have an opinion on which of the 38 seasons of Saturday Night Live is your favorite.
  27. Prep your Ten Best Movies of 2012 list.
  28. Prep your Ten Best Albums of 2012 list.
  29. Prep your Ten Best adorable cat YouTube videos of 2012 list.
  30. Prep your Ten Best Dining Hall Meals of 2012 list.
  31. Prep your Ten Best Lists of 2012 list.
  32. Prep your “Worst” version of all the above.
  33. Obsess over how the exam/final paper is going to be graded. (Just do the best you can.)
  34. Build yourself a new computer.
  35. Save space by turning your desk drawer into a computer.
  36. Try to discover a new star.
  37. Build a to-scale model of Mount Rushmore using Legos.mountrushmorealllegos
  38. Build a to-scale model of a T-Rex with K’nex. (It rhymes!)
  39. Visit (Seriously, if you need to get something done, stay far, far away from this site.)
  40. Visit Etsy. (Double damage on your productivity and your wallet.)
  41. Start learning a new language. (Unless you’ve got a Spanish/German/French final coming up, then this is probably a smart thing to do.)
  42. Learn the Elvish language that J.R.R. Tolkien invented.
  43. Like J.R.R. Tolkien, invent a language.
  44. Make candles out of unused fruit.
  45. Make a keg out of a watermelon.melonTap
  46. Log-in to your old AOL email address and dig through the mail that’s been building up over the past decade.
  47. Scroll back through your Facebook profile to see what you were doing four years ago.
  48. Be embarassed by what you were doing 4 years ago.
  49. Delete evidence of what you were doing 4 years ago.
  50. Finally embrace Twitter, with its hashtags, “@” symbols, and incredibly short messages.
  51. Join Pinterest.
  52. Join Tumblr.
  53. Join LinkedIn.
  54. Join LiveJournal.
  55. Join Flickr.
  56. Join Foursquare.
  57. Join any of the hundreds of other social networks listed here, which, even though you’ve never heard of most of them, Wikipedia still considers “well-known.”
  58. Wonder what the late Mitch Hedberg could have done with Twitter.Mitch-Hedberg
  59. Clean up that MySpace profile you haven’t touched since 2005.
  60. Start learning free-running (parkour). Not so much because it’s time-consuming in itself, but the time spent in the emergency room is really going to cut into the time you should spend writing that paper.
  61. Go golfing, realize you don’t have any clubs, and play with just a putter.
  62. While golfing with a putter, jump for joy when you finally make a bogey +12.
  63. Turn pages of your 20th Century History textbook into era-appropriate paper airplanes. (Shameless plug: Especially when you could sell those textbooks back here.)
  64. Turn pages of your Biology textbook into origami animals.origami_elephant
  65. Use Silly Putty to lift text/pictures off newspapers.
  66. Realize that referencing both “Silly Putty” and “newspapers,” are going to date you one day, if they don’t already.
  67. Start planning next year’s Halloween costume.
  68. Working on your My Little Pony fan fiction. (I’m not going to look up a link to this one, but I’m very confident I could find it.)
  69. Beef up your zombie apocalypse plan.
  70. Work on your zombie fan fiction.BTClarisse08
  71. Beef up your My Little Pony apocalypse plan.
  72. Visit adopt-a-pet websites, regardless of the pet policy in your dorm.
  73. Daydream about how to hide that 3 year old German Shepherd/Chow mix in your 10’x17′ two-person dorm room.
  74. Throw together a Secret Santa drawing among your friends.
  75. Rig the Secret Santa competition to match up people who don’t know each other for maximum awkwardness.
  76. In honor of the release of The HobbitLord of the Rings marathon.
  77. In honor of the announcement of upcoming sequels, Star Wars marathon.
  78. In honor of the… uh… well, I guess there’s no real reason: Harry Potter marathon.
  79. Brew your own beer.
  80. Make dorm room
  81. Wonder how dorm room wine compares with prison wine.
  82. Cat-proof your Christmas tree (not unlike filling a bucket with a hole in it).
  83. Move water from one well to the next using an eyedropper.
  84. Shift a pile of sand from here to there with a pair of tweezers.
  85. Dig a tunnel through a cliff using a needle.
  86. If you didn’t get the above three references, reading The Phantom Tollbooth.6a00e55291856388330120a8c8b609970b-320pi_jpg_230x222_q85
  87. Don’t exercise. (Pay special attention to the double negative here.)
  88. Not wasting a little bit of time with brief goofiness. (Research’s been done on this, too.)
  89. Study for your history final by reading/watching Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
  90. Study for your art history final by reading/watching The Da Vinci Code.
  91. Study for your psychology final by watching interviews with Jenny McCarthy.
  92. Study for your physics final by watching The Core.
  93. Study for your chemistry final by watching Breaking Bad. You might learn some stuff incidentally, but you’ll probably be a bit more caught up in the story of a good man’s descent into evil than the reaction of specific compounds.
  94. Competitive marathon sleeping.
  95. Napping for longer than half-an-hour. (Research has been done.)bookbyte-1350510662_600
  96. Give a mouse a cookie, since then, of course, he’ll want a glass a milk.
  97. Throw away your old textbooks. (Apologies for the second shameless plug, but seriously, you’ll get cash — more than from the campus bookstore — selling here.)
  98. Plan out drawing something on your Scantron.
  99. Reading this list probably wasn’t the best use of your time either. Sorry.
  100. Write blog posts.