Every year, there are a handful of costumes (usually something topical) that dominate Halloween. This is especially true in college, where the resources you have to throw together a decent costume are usually pretty limited. Last year, if you overlook the typical pirates and Marios and other costumes that never go out of fashion, you got around 25% Mitt Romney, 25% Barack Obama, and 50% Bane from The Dark Knight Rises.
Here’s our list of ten costumes you’re basically guaranteed to see walking around this year, ranked on the Heath Ledger as Joker Terrifying Scale.
- Costume: Biker helmets, gloves, shiny jackets
- Why this costume? Because this was the year that everyone on the planet suddenly remembered how much they liked Daft Punk.
- Terrifying Level: 0 Heath Ledger Jokers
- Costume: Diaper, shutter shades
- Why this costume? You might be surprised at how many college students jump at the opportunity to dress like a baby. When it’s a famous baby that’s easily recognized with the addition of cheap props, you have a dream costume.
- Terrifying Level: 0.2 Heath Ledger Jokers
Lance Armstrong and/or A-Rod
- Costume: Biking jersey or Yankees uniform, fake muscle suit, Livestrong bracelet or t-shirt that says “Biogenesis”
- Why this costume? It was a bad year to be world-class athlete caught cheating.
- Terrifying Level: 0.4 Heath Ledger Jokers
- Costume: Dress all in black. Stop moving if you lose a Wi-Fi signal. Refuse anything handed to you that’s been used before. Use the words “groundbreaking,” “connected experience,” or “cloud” at least once per minute.
- Why this costume? It’s rare to see a company blow the announcement of a magical entertainment device as badly as Microsoft did.
- Terrifying Level: 0.5 Heath Ledger Jokers
Furloughed Government Worker
- Costume: This costume simply involves not getting dressed after rolling out of bed in the morning. The perfect costume for college students.
- Why this costume? Because even if this shutdown nonsense clears up before Halloween, people are going to be hold this against Congress for a long, long time.
- Terrifying Level: 0.8 Heath Ledger Jokers
- Costume: Suit, tie, American flag pin
- Why this costume? None of the summer movies this year had really compelling, unforgettable villains. Luckily the government shutdown this fall has more than made up for that.
- Scariness: 1.3 Heath Ledger Jokers
MTV Music Awards Miley Cyrus
- Costume: Some kind of teddy bear body suit or something? I don’t really remember and I’m much happier not clearing up my vague mental picture by looking on Google Images.
- Why this costume? There’s a certain shameless faction that always sees Halloween as an excuse for… well… the most shameless costume possible.
- Terrifying Level: 2.6 Heath Ledger Jokers
Beetlejuice… I mean… Robin Thicke
- Costume: Black and white striped suit. Microphone. Bling.
- Why this costume? The inevitable complement to the Miley costume. This costume requires college-age guys to mostly just stand still while scantily-clad women dance around/up on them, so sadly you can expect way, way too many of these.
- Terrifying Level: 2.9 Heath Ledger Jokers
- Costume: Just wander around whatever party you’re at and conspicuously eavesdrop on other people’s conversations.
- Why this costume? The NSA scandal tapped (I know, I know, a terrible pun) into many people’s deepest government conspiracy fears. Topical and scary? Perfect.
- Terrifying Level: 3.2 Heath Ledger Jokers
- Costume: Shaved head, goatee, glasses, porkpie hat, and *SPOILER REDACTED*.
- Why this costume? Because the final episode of Breaking Bad, where Walt *SPOILER REDACTED* and finally *SPOILER REDACTED* before *SPOILER REDACTED*, was one of the most satisfying final episodes of a TV show ever. Just please, please, if you are going this route, don’t ruin anything for the people who haven’t seen it yet. Getting the show spoiled for you? That thought is really terrifying.
- Terrifying Level: 4 Heath Ledger Jokers