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Your Ultimate College Finals Playlist

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Whether it’s still the calm before the storm or you’re in full-force finals mode, you’ve probably found yourself in that awful position where you simultaneously have tons of free time and also no free time whatsoever. All the normal responsibilities of your schedule are cleared, replaced by the much more intimidating responsibilities of studying or finishing that final paper. We’ve put together a soundtrack to get you through it. It’s not exactly studying music; it’s a soundtrack to reflect the rollercoaster of emotions that finals inevitably bring about.

  • Paul Engemann – Scarface (Push It To The Limit) — That moment when you need the power of ’80s montages to get you through a long stretch of studying
  • Daft Punk – Harder Better Faster Strong — That moment when you’re working hard, well, fast, and strong, but need a little bit more of each.
  • Coldplay – Don’t Panic — That moment when you’re in desperate need for the advice in the title of this song.
  • They Might Be Giants – Why Does the Sun Shine? — That moment you realize you need a cheat sheet for Astronomy 101.
  • Miike Snow – Animal — That moment when you realize that no matter how much you have to do, your basic needs come first… you know, like eating, sleeping, and urinating.
  • Eagles of Death Metal - Now I’m a Fool — That moment you’re looking over your notes and don’t remember even writing half this stuff.
  • She & Him – This Is Not a Test — That moment when you freak out from oversleeping, then realize that it’s not even exam day.
  • Muse – Hysteria — That moment when you freak out from oversleeping, then realize that, yes, it IS exam day.
  • Wavves – Idiot — That moment you need to feel better after an impossible test makes you feel stupid. (Some NSFW lyrics.)
  • The Broken West – The Smartest Man Alive — That moment you need to celebrate after an easy test makes you feel brilliant.
  • Wu-Tang Clan – I Can’t Go To Sleep — That moment when you’re pulling an all-nighter and you need a song just as restless as you’re feeling. (Some NSFW lyrics.)
  • TV on the Radio – Caffeinated Consciousness — That moment you pop open your second Red Bull for the night.
  • The Roots (feat. John Legend) – The Fire — That moment you’ve realized too many of these suggestions are tongue-in-cheek and you really need to hear something genuinely inspiring.
  • Europe – The Final Countdown — That moment right before the final when you need a shot of transcendent cheesiness.
  • Zircon – Warhead — Post final rave!

Category:

College Life, Entertainment

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The Five Stages of Grief Writing a Final Paper

A sad panda

Sad panda

For some, the final paper is even more dreaded than the final exam. At least with an exam, you can only do so much work in the time given. With a paper, there’s this sinister feeling that you always could have done more. So naturally, you put off thinking about it as long as you can.

I was reading the other day about the Kübler-Ross model, better known as the Five Stages of Grief. I thought I’d overlay the same ideas onto the process of writing a final paper. The comparison was uncanny.

STAGE 1 — DENIAL

“Professor ____ gave us the final today, but I’ve got like 2 and a half weeks to do it. Plenty of time.”

The student engages in a conscious or unconscious rejection of the situation. The disruption of his/her schedule is seen as an opportunity for more active forms of procrastination. His/her sense of time is distorted. The student seeks constant social interaction to avoid engaging with vague sense of impending doom. Bravo reality TV programming suddenly becomes fascinating.

STAGE 2 — ANGER

“What is this crap? 15 freaking pages of this? She barely even covered this in class.”

When the student is ready to engage with the assignment, he/she initially rejects the terms of the assignment as unreasonable. Feelings of outrage may be directed as the instructor, the institution, noisy neighbors and roommates, friends who keep sending emails and texts saying they’re going out tonight, the stupid library, stupid Internet, and stupid Microsoft Word, or perhaps even at the student’s stupid self for signing up for this stupid class in the first place.

STAGE 3 — BARGAINING

“Okay, I’ll start in the morning. One more party tonight, then I’ll get started in the morning, I promise.”

Students may attempt to bargain with themselves, e.g., offering an hour of work in exchange for an hour getting out of the dorm/apartment. They may also attempt to appease a higher power, sending emails to the instructor testing  the flexibility of the page count or appealing for an extension.

STAGE 4 — DEPRESSION

“I can’t do this. This is impossible. What is wrong with me? Why did I wait until today. Guhhh…”

The student becomes silent and stares blankly at his/her monitor. Posture is slumped. Head may be flat against desk or keyboard. In the earlier stages, comments may be left on social media networks looking for sympathetic responses. In the later stages, acts of procrastination will no longer feature any elements of fun. The blank Word document will be opened and stared at for an indeterminate period of time.

STAGE 5 — ACCEPTANCE

“I haven’t slept in 36 hours. I’ve eaten three consecutive meals of Kraft mac n’ cheese and Dr. Pepper. I have no idea what I wrote. But it doesn’t matter. It’s done.”

After realizing he/she doesn’t even have the time to be depressed anymore, the student begins the assignment. Without any energy to devote toward emotional reactions anymore, the student pours out a series of stream-of-consciousness thoughts onto his/her keyboard. Stray glances at the clock only confirm that there isn’t time to look at the clock. Upon completion and submission of the assignment, the student receives an inexplicable surge of energy, later followed by an exhausted crash. Sometimes this happen in reverse.

Category:

College Life, Education

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100 Things to Not Do During Finals Week

The most sinister thing about finals week is the way it tempts you into thinking you have more free time. There’s a voice in the back of your head that says, “Yeah! No classes!” That voice is very hard to shut up when your head is buried in your textbook or in front of your laptop re-reading your final paper for the 100th time.

If you find yourself fighting with your brain about how to spend your study time, consult this list. While definitely not comprehensive, you can be sure that if your brain is telling you to do something on this list, you should definitely not do it.

  1. Thoroughly clean your dorm or apartment.
  2. Fix all the lingering feng shui problems with your dorm or apartment.dorm-room-feng-shui
  3. Fixing the feng shui problems with the campus library (until they throw you out).
  4. Fix that desk drawer that keeps sticking.
  5. Shop around Craigslist for a better desk.
  6. Learn how to build a desk.
  7. Build a desk.
  8. Accept that practice makes perfect, throw away your first attempt at building a desk, and build a second, better one.
  9. Laundry, beyond the essentials. Your dirty hoodie can stay dirty a bit longer.
  10. Manually hitting refresh on your inbox. If you find yourself doing it manually, it’s because you’re putting off something you should be doing instead.
  11. Multitask studying. It’s bad for your memory.
  12. Think about what the state of the economy means for your job search. (more…)

Category:

College Life

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